Beyond the Now

Feelings of insignificance. Feelings of exhaustion. Emotional and physical pain. Frustration with people, frustration with myself. Confusion, yet clarity. Motivation, but not enough. Love, the kind that hurts. Love, the kind at the surface. Love, the self- sacrificial, life-saving kind. It all runs so deep. My heart, my soul, my mind, my strength. My heart bleeds so easily, wounded so deeply, but it does not take much to keep it beating and keep it strong and keep it happy. My mind wanders, gets me in trouble, but likes to be entertained and challenged. My soul knows truth, knows its Creator, it is safe and faithful. My strength wavers, weary but with hope, motivated in the exhaustion. the truth is all that matters. The truth keeps me going. The truth is the most profound, it goes down to the core of my being and keeps me alive. Alive for what? That, I am not sure. But alive, indeed. To live, to love, to laugh, to cry, to serve and be served, to know and be known, to fall and get up, to break, to heal, to jump, to slide. To feel the peak of vulnerability. To experience closeness of others. To find the greatest joy on this earth, but to keep searching, to keep wanting, to keep waiting. Desires, unmet. Dreams, unfulfilled. Questions without answers. A life that is chosen, yet meant for another place. A place where all is well. Feelings of significance, feelings of rejuvenation. Emotional and physical rest. Peace with others, peace with myself, peace. The veil lifted. The one who is Love revealed in his full glory.