When my mind tries to trick me

Sometimes I sit here and get overwhelmed thinking about things. Thinking about all the people that I love and want to spend time with but how that almost seems impossible. Thinking about all the things I want to do like surf, clean, or write a blog, but how I probably don't have the energy or endurance. Its as if my mind is tricking me, its telling me things to protect me. And these things aren't harmful, they were actually helpful at one point. But I think in real life, when I actually call that friend, or go to that person's house, or get up and start writing, its usually better than my mind was trying to tell me it would be. Maybe I need some more courage. Maybe if I would just do things, then I wouldnt let my mind trick me so much. But also maybe I'm expecting too much of myself, maybe sometimes my mind is right. Like I'm slowly getting better, and its okay that it is slow. its okay that its a battle. its okay that I switch back and forth in my emotions, in my thoughts, in my excitement and energy levels so quickly and so often. If life was just about me then it probably wouldnt really be that okay because then my life would actually just be a mess with no purpose, nothing outside of myself to make the chaos all worth it. And then maybe my mind wouldnt be tricking me, maybe my mind would be right and this mess of a life is just my life. But since this life isn't about me, since its not centered on what i can or cannot do, think, or say, the mess, the chaos, the twists and turns, they are not only worth it, they are perfectly planned and necessary. So its okay if I stay where my mind tells me to stay. But its okay if I get up.